Love Feels Like War
by The Roman Disaster
Summary: Percy Jackson and Jason Grace probably aren't even gay, goddammit. [percico/jasico high school AU.] [formerly called "a love like war"]
1. i) a love like war

a love like war.

**title: **a love like war. ((or, nico di angelo and why he wants to punch love in the face))  
**author: **theromandisaster / andromeda_0301 / idkmanyoutellme /  
**author's note: **I don't own these characters. Rick Riordan does. I don't want to be sued I just want to hug Nico ok.this was originally a one-shot, but some of you guys have been asking for a second chapter and I was bored, so I decided, hey, why not continue this? so yeah, welcome to my first percico/jasico story (ha. still can't decide.) and I guess I'll give you the ship warnings. (sorry guys, there will be no valdangelo! personally, I can't stand that ship.)  
**pairings: **one-sided percico, one-sided jasico, slight percabeth, slight jasper, slight frazel, slight leyna ((shut up)), and mentioned caleo.

At first glance, you would think that Nico di Angelo's the teen who's going through his emo phase. While he doesn't want anything to do with the word emo, he'd rather describe himself as a pessimistic loner who usually sits by himself during lunchtime in the school cafeteria. With his depressing and all-around gloomy nature, no one really pays any attention to him, but, to tell the truth, Nico's fine with that. He always likes being alone.

He has a reason to be disappointed on how his life turned out. His dad's busy with work and he doesn't care about his children. His mom's dead. His stepmom's an annoying little shit who doesn't care about him and Bianca. The light of his life was formerly Bianca, his older sister, but one of her friends invited her to join a Catholic camp in a nearby church and she has actual friends now and it's almost like she has no time for her younger brother now. He has no ambitions, absolutely nothing worth living for, and he locks himself in his room, scrolling through page after page on the Internet and blasting his favorite Bring Me the Horizon songs aloud because why the hell not. He likes this kind of music a lot more than he should.

Nico didn't really think that it would be possible for his life to become even worse enough as it is, but his life became twenty per cent shittier when he started falling in love with Perseus Jackson.

He's never had romantic feelings for anyone in his life, but he's overheard Bianca on the phone and witnessed her break-ups with her ex-boyfriends before, and he can tell that liking anyone ever sucks and _come on_, he's seen the couples in his school argue and scream profanities at each other in the hallways. The only thing he knows about love is that it probably hurts, and he'd choose to die than to love someone else any day. At first, Nico was confused, because honestly, what kind of shitstorm did he miss because Percy Jackson is completely out of his league. He's insanely good at sports and he's smart and adorable and charming and he's a couple of years older and he probably makes fun of Nico behind his back, because let's face it, who doesn't, and goddammit _Nico's just confused alright. _He has absolutely _no_ idea why he even _likes _him.

Percy Jackson isn't even gay, goddammit.

And most nights, he sits in his room, completely freaking out, because _oh my god what the hell am I supposed to do does he even acknowledge my existence wait does he even think I exist does he like me does he think I'm okay I mean _please _tell me he thinks I'm at the least okay like that would be the best thing ever oh god what do I do I don't know what to do_. He hates that he considers these thoughts_ normal _and he's grown to hate his romantic feelings for him and goddammit he can't even call it love because love is one-sided and Perseus fucking Jackson doesn't return the feelings but honestly –

Why would he?

He has no other choice. Nico continues to sit beside Percy during English class and when the boy of his dreams starts talking to him, it's almost as if he's about to faint because he actually knows he exists and he can always smile around him and Percy is just goofy and dorky and _dammit too bad he has a girlfriend _and he's nice and Nico actually does feel comfortable – to an extent … at least – when Percy looks worrisome about the subject on the board and it's like, well, you know, at least he has feelings. At least he's human.

"I'll see you later," Percy flashes a smile at him and he's the first to leave the room and Nico's heart beats inside his chest and goddammit he can't hide these feelings any longer because it feels as if he's about to pop and although he's usually good at hiding his feelings, he has to tell him.

"Percy, wait!" Nico turns to look at the door to stop Percy in his tracks and just tell him how he really feels and get it over with, only to find out that he's the only person left in the classroom aside from his English teacher, who happens to be looking at him curiously as if it's the first time he's heard the lovesick teenager talk. Then again, it probably is.

Nico grabs his books and runs out of the classroom. He doesn't know where to run to because hell, how is he supposed to know where the boy is – he isn't Percy's stalker or something, he doesn't know what the guy even does in his spare time – but he runs anyway. He pushes past people in the crowded hallway, muttering apologies, and usually the crowds make him feel like he's being attacked or something (if that even makes sense) but not today, he runs anyway. It's the perfect time to tell him – it's Friday, Percy has plenty of time to think about it during the weekend, and Nico _just has to tell him_, and this probably has to be the most spontaneous thing he's ever done all his life.

Well, he's been on a rollercoaster once, but still.

He finally spots Percy in the crowd, and before he can stop himself, he calls his name. And when Percy turns around and smiles at him, it seems like the best thing ever, and he's glad he's finally telling Percy after crushing on him big-time since the beginning of the school year and –

"Percy!" a pretty blonde girl comes up to him and laces her fingers with his and the intimate act just … it pains Nico in a way that he's ever imagined and when she's kissing him … that's when he feels sick and he remembers a tiny detail – Percy has a girlfriend, and the two of them symbolize love itself. Percy's eyes light up and he looks as if he's visibly, honestly happy with her and –

How could he come in between the two of them?

Nico's not _selfish_. He doesn't want to ruin anyone's relationship, and Percy would probably be happier off with Annabeth than he ever will be with Nico. If he's happy with her … he's happy with her, and for the first time in his life, the di Angelo boy cares about someone else's feelings more than he cares about his own and in that moment, it dawns on him. It worries him what he would do for this boy. All because he thinks he's in love with him.

"Hey, Nico. How's it going?" Annabeth asks him, taking her eyes off of her boyfriend for the first time since she met up with him at the hallway and smiling at the di Angelo boy.

"Huh?" he probably looked confused. "You-You know me?"

"Of course!" she smiles at him – _probably only to be polite_, he thinks, because honestly, no one else would smile at him for another reason – and now he understands why Percy likes her. She's gorgeous. "We share Math class together! Well, I've never heard you talk until now, but it's actually nice to meet you."

"I-Yeah," he mutters in a reply.

"Uh, so … did you need anything?" Percy suddenly asks, and Nico contemplates on telling him one last time before he shakes his head in reply. He's about to apologize when Percy mutters an "oh," sounding disappointed, but it must've been just him. "Well – would you like to sit with us on our lunch table? I remember you sat with us once with Thalia, you two were talking about bands, right? That was cool. I mean, if you'd–"

It was becoming too much and he interrupts Percy mid-sentence. "No thanks," Nico declines, waving a hand. "I-Sorry, I like eating alone." And before either Annabeth or Percy could say anything else, he turns on his heel and walks away. It disappoints him that Percy doesn't say anything – doesn't stop him – but he thinks that Percy probably doesn't want anything to do with him.

Nico likes him. He really does. But he doesn't want to cause any drama and he has a girlfriend and as much as it kills him, the di Angelo boy knows when to shut up when it's necessary because it's the only thing he's good at doing besides over-thinking and he's doing Percy a huge favor. Nico's feelings will slowly disappear until they disappear completely and he'll forget about it over time because you know what they say – time heals all wounds – but for now, it's killing him and he can't do anything to stop it and the di Angelo boy just wants to slam his head repeatedly against a wall and maybe put on his earphones and blast Suicide Silence songs until his eardrums burst.

He'll tell Percy one day, but, for now, he has no problem with scrolling through posts of bands and pessimistic sayings on his Tumblr dashboard and listening to sad Sleeping With Sirens songs about heartbreak.

It's a better option than telling Percy, anyway, because it's like he wants the Jackson boy to hate him.


	2. ii) if our love is insanity

ii. if our love is insanity.

**author's note: **I don't own these characters. Rick Riordan does. I don't want to be sued I just want to hug Nico. it's three in the morning and I just ... I don't know what happened. Jasico happened.  
**pairings: **one-sided percico, one-sided jasico, slight percabeth, slight jasper, slight frazel, slight leyna ((shut up)), and mentioned caleo.

Nico doesn't know how, but this boy named Jason Grace, one of Percy's other popular friends, has figured it out – the di Angelo kid is gay and he's hopelessly in love with Percy Jackson.

Oh, you have _no _idea how Nico's world just fucking _shatter__ed _then and there and how he felt like running away when the blond-haired kid with the dumb scar on his upper lip – the only noticeably intriguing and badass thing about him at first glance, Nico thinks – simply comes up to him, looking as nervous as Nico probably always does when he's around that Jackson boy, and that's not all, but he has the fucking nerve to ask, "Oh, hey – uh, Nico, right? Di Angelo? Uh, you see my girlfriend over there? For some reason, she kind of has this theory that you have a crush on my friend, Percy? I was just wondering–"

His eyes widen in surprise, thinking, _Dammit, is it _that _obvious that I have emotions_? Especially _some that involve romance of any sort?_ In a matter of seconds, however, Nico has enough of it, and he cuts the Grace boy off mid-sentence. "And what if I do? Are you going to tell him?" he counters, folding his arms. It's embarrassing that he has to look up to even look at the blond boy eye-to-eye, but hey, Jason's probably intimidated by the shorter boy at this point.

"No!" Jason tells him, making a cross-my-heart motion across his chest with his fingers. And, as childish as his gesture may seem, Nico's glare becomes colder. "No, I wouldn't dream of it, I'd let Percy figure it out himself! Well, Jackson can be pretty dumb, honestly. Even Annabeth says so herself."

Nico ignores the last part. Percy isn't dumb, he thinks. Nico's in Percy's class in Science as well and he's actually very intelligent when it comes to certain subjects, but he doesn't bother pointing it out. "Well, then why do you care?" he asks instead, almost harshly. But then – he has no intention of sounding harsh, even though he has the feeling in his gut telling him that Jason's probably going to make fun of him with his friends or maybe even tell Percy. He knows that this Grace boy has sworn himself to secrecy, but Nico's learned the hard way not to trust anyone and he doesn't really trust Jason, anyway.

_Nice try_, _Grace. _Nico almost wants to leave the boy during the middle of their conversation because honestly, he's done and he's wasting Jason's time. Or it may be the other way around. He doesn't know for sure, Nico can't read emotions for shit. Hell, he can't even read his own emotions.

"I – what?" the Grace boy looks utterly confused by the question. "Well, I guess, I was just wondering why. I also wanted to learn the truth because, well, a lot of people are spreading rumors and I don't know which one's true, which one's false, so I thought, hey, no one's bothered to ask you, so why don't I ask you –"

"_Wait_." Nico growls, cutting Jason off in the middle of the sentence possible the second time. The shorter, dark-haired boy immediately feels sick upon the word 'rumors.' Are people really…? They can't possibly be. No one has _that _much time on their hands that they'd spread rumors about him. _I'm not even important_, he thinks. _Why would anyone even want to talk about me? _"Did you say … that people are spreading rumors?"

"You … You didn't know?" Jason asks, looking visibly surprised. "Oh – oh gods," he immediately begins to apologize, and the thing that puzzled Nico the most is that he actually looked like he was sorry. "I'm sorry that you had to hear it this way, I … I thought you would've known. I mean, Drew Tanaka has absolutely _nothing _to do with her time, so I thought the rumors would be so popular that they'd get to you as well … Oh man, I should've known that they weren't really true."

"It's whatever," Nico mutters under his breath coldly, so quiet that he doubt that Jason even heard, but Nico doesn't like repeating himself so he doesn't bother asking Jason if he heard him. "It's not … It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I just never really thought that Drew Tanaka knew I existed or that I was important enough for gossip."

Jason's expression softens, much to the shock that cannot be seen on Nico's face because he's always been good at hiding his emotions like that. "You know … you may think you're invisible, but you're really not." Before Nico could ask him what that means, Jason beats him to it and explains: "You're more popular than you think you are. Well, I-uh, I mean … well-known, I guess. Most people know you as Bianca di Angelo's little brother, but you're actually friendly as well … just to certain people. I know that you're friends with Hazel Levesque and Frank Zhang. Maybe not close, but you know them, and Frank and Hazel are in the Student Council, so you're … you're pretty popular." the blond-haired boy tells him, looking extremely pleased with himself. "Not to mention my older sister, Thalia! You two usually bond and talk about Green Day, don't you? Thalia only hangs out with people she likes!" he adds.

"That's three friends and my older sister," Nico says simply. He doesn't know how, but what Jason is saying is making him feel better. Sort of. Maybe. "It's no big deal. On the other hand, you're Jason Grace. If anyone could rival Percy Jackson at sports, it's you. So I don't … really know why you're wasting your time talking to me."

"Don't think too badly of yourself, Nico, you're great." Jason laughs, lightly punching the olive-skinned boy on the shoulder. "I wish I would've talked to you sooner. I mean, I hope we become closer." Nico becomes silent. He opens his mouth to talk, but he's got a thousand thoughts running through his head. How does Jason even know so much about him? Is Jason just one of those people who normally pay attention to just about everything?

Nico wants to thank him for bringing his self-esteem up by at least three percent, a rare feat for someone he barely even knows, but when he opens his mouth, no words seem to come out.

"I'll see you around, Nico!" Jason flashes another one of his smiles at him. Damn, they're getting contagious, as Nico actually feels the need to smile back. The di Angelo boy watches him leave, uncertain about the feeling at the pit of his stomach.

He's not sure if it's just him … but that Jason boy is actually really attractive.


End file.
